How do I get my spouse or significant other to exercise?

This is a question I get a lot.  How do I get my spouse or significant other to exercise and eat healthier.  The truth of the matter is,…. you can’t.  Unfortunately this truth is hard for a lot of people to hear.  We love our spouses and significant others and want more than anything for them to be healthy and live a full, LONG life. But their idea of a full life might not coincide with yours.  The thing is, a fit and healthy lifestyle is just that.  It’s a lifestyle and someone has to be willing to participate.  You can’t force someone to workout or make healthier food choices.  They have to be at a place in their life where they want to make that change.  They have to want it!  I’ve seen so many relationships damaged because one person tries to force the other to fit their idea of what they should be.  They try to force them to workout with them.  They try to force them to eat like they do.  This may be coming from a place of love and concern, but you have to look at it from the other persons perspective.  What they see is someone who doesn’t like or love them for who they are.  Fitness is such a personal thing.  You have to want it….for yourself.  This is not saying you can’t set a good example for them, because you absolutely can.  Trust me, they are noticing you working out.  They notice you not having that slice of pie with them for desert.  They notice the way you carry yourself.  They see how much confidence and energy you have now that you’ve decided to live a healthier lifestyle.  And you know what?  They might just ask you for some tips or help at some point, but they need to initiate the conversation.  This doesn’t mean you can’t invite them to go on a hike with you, just be aware that they might say “no” and that’s okay.  

Now there is another part of this worth mentioning.  Communication between you and your partner is very important.  I think if you felt compelled to be honest with your spouse from a health stand point, you should.  Don’t keep the way you feel from them, but you need to come to it from a place of love and concern and a want to pursue a healthier lifestyle together.  Just know that they may not be ready yet. Try to be on the same page, but otherwise you can hopefully inspire by example.  You can’t make anyone do something they aren’t ready for, but you can be honest with them about how you feel from a place of non-judgement and tactful concern.  It’s a lifestyle and one you can’t force on anyone.